rui_midorikawa

I 'tried' to finish the stuff I need for school to complete my incomplete grades and etc. But now, I just remembered, I'm still not finished with my CHURCH WORK, from 2 semesters ago.(DARN). But now, as I tried to pass the novel analysis to my professor, she didn't want to accept it. I can't really get mad at her 'cause she's my professor again this sem. Anyway, I sorta gave back my iPod to my mom, hoping she would trade a laptop for it, (the iPod was kindda defective as well). Turns out, she won't give the laptop to me. ;_____; I'm so mad, I want to cry and I miss my iPod so much, though we've been together for the shortest time. DDDDx Plus, last night my mom called up and she didn't seem to be extatic or anything. She was so, 'life-less' when I talk to her. Now, I can't help but think of what would have had happened if I extended my stay up to six months and didn't enroll this sem. Well, I have problems with my room, it's so messy and stuff are all around. x-x;; Plus, it was father's day yesterday, nothing extravagant happened but, it just made me think of what I really felt about myself not having a dad to grow up with. Am I looking for a 'father figure'? And I can't even remember what we used to do together. Am I ok with the fact that I don't have a father with me? As of now, I think I am, but when I think about it, I really dunno. It's hard when someone asks you, where's your father or something... I tell them, I'm ok but when I give it a really deep thought, even I myself ask questions I don't have the answers to. Come to think of it, I never asked my mom what really happened, not now, not ever. Maybe, I'm afraid to find out what the truth is. As for Glen, what I had for him was just infatuation. Now, I think less about him and I rarely go ga-ga over him when I think or talk about him, etc. I'm thinking of getting myself a present for my birthday, a tongue pierce and a tattoo on my nape(at the back of my neck) or on my lower back. I need suggestions as to what to put. I thought of a good reason why to get piercings and tattoos >>>> To remind myself of the hardships I went through and to never forget, etc. It's like making memories... OKOK, enough with this shit. Sorry if I typed a lot of jibberish, I just typed what I had in mind, not bother about the grammar and stuff. Ciao~


CHESSY <3.

Well, classes started for me, while the other half of the world is on their summer vacations. I feel guilty missing Glen more than my mom, but still, I miss her, though I don't really say it. I wish I was back in NY, I dunno why but I do. As of now, I feel loved and I'm contented. I hope everything will be alright with my friends, if they have problems, I'm always here to help. I hope that when I need help, someone will come for me as well. An old friend of mine is texting me, I feel bad 'cause I'm not replying making up stuff just not to talk to her. It's not that I don't want her to be my friend anymore, but maybe/hopefully, I'm just lazy to text. D: Anyway, maybe next week, I'll be so busy, I'll be online because of school work. Today, I cutted my first class for this sem. GO ME~ xD;; Anyway, though I say that I'm contented, half of me is saying that it isn't true? and, I dunno, I feel like everything around me isn't too good. Maybe, I'm just paranoid. My iPod is still being mean to me which is not good.

Now, the terror teacher I had last sem is my teacher again this sem. DARN~ Oh well. *rumages through her stuff looking for pictures* I found some of the picture I need and you know who.

Well, earlier this day, Bena and I were "playing" we spoke only english practicing and all. It went well and we were laughing ever now and then for being silly. I love being with Bena, I can feel that we can laugh at anything. But then again, I love all my friends. I love being with them, sharing un-ending laughs and secrets? >.>;; I wish we were all in the same school, everything would've been perfect.

And late afternoon this day, Bena and I went to the photocopy center when she called my attention and said.:Uy, tingnan mo, kamukha ni Erika.: turns out it was Erika's sister. Funny, I even pretended not to look at her when Bena told me.

ANYWAY~

I miss my violin.

I miss myself, if only I knew who I was, I could pretend, but no, I don't, which makes it much more difficult.

I love you all, esp. >

Chess~

I'm back. Heh. xD;;

My first week in US was so boring... But now, I want to go back A.S.A.P.~!
I'm ok now, but when the school year starts again. I dunno what I'll do. D;

One time, I thought my mom was just pushing me (she tends to do that all the time, pairing me up etc.)to go with Glen and his other guy friend, turns out, it was him who asked if I could/wanted to come. Now, I can't believe I said no. Darn. DDD;

Glen drove me and my mom to the airport. He is such a cutie. @.@ <3333
And when I talked to my mom last night, she said that Glen said that he likes me and that I was cool. He also said that it was too bad we didn't have more time to hang out. And that next time I'll be back in U.S. hopefully, I won't be so shy anymore. Wah~ *blush,blush* xD;;

I watched some of the video tapes I had, and I already miss U.S. Well, I won't be able to watch adult swim anymore. I miss a lot of things there, if only my friends and my family was there with me, it would've been perfect.

When I was in U.S. I realized how much I mean to everyone, everyone wanted me with them. My mom was so excited when I came, she was literally crying her eyes out. And my relatives at home wanted me with them too. They missed me so much. Even my friends missed me. I feel so loved. :)

Gawd~! What to do, what to do... I really want to go back A.S.A.P.~!
Glen is waiting for me. (Yeah, right.) LOL. If only I spent more time in their house..too bad when he wasn't around, I spent my weekends there, but when he arrived which was like 2 1/2 weeks before my departure, I never had the chance to sleep there. Wait, before I forget, my first night in U.S. I slept on Glen's bed in his room (of course). *KILIG* xD;;

The weird thing is, when I talk to someone and speak english I get shy and nervous so I stammer, but with Glen, I dunno... I feel so at ease that I say whatever I want, AND~ I don't stammer (maybe just a little). Heh~

Maybe you're wondering who this Glen guy is, right?

Glen is an 18 yr, old, Irish male, with dark blond hair and blue eyes. He grew up in U.S. He's sorta like a family friend. I've known him since we were like 3 or something. And I just personally met him this year. Who would've known that he would be so attractive.

Anyway, wish me luck. Hopefully, I won't think of Glen too much. HEH~

Chessy >.<;;

Ok. This is my first entry. Moving on, I'm currently spending my vacation here in U.S. Which is currently my worst decision ever. Yeah, I get to see my mom and my relatives but hey~ I should've had more fun if I was at home. I'm soooo bored and I have nothing to do here, except for doing chores and the such. I'll go back home on the 27th of May, just days away the end of my break, HOW NICEEEE~ Ok, enough with my rant. Well, maybe I just miss my laid back lifestyle back home. I miss my friends and I am hating the fact that I should've had more fun with then rather than being here... So far, everywhere we go I end up losing my temper and wanting to just end the trip and go back to where we're staying. And a family friend said to my great aunt that I'm snobbish just because I don't talk much!?!?!?!!? WTFF~ If only she wasn't a 'good' friend. RAWR~ Supposedly, I was going to meet her son Glenn today, much to my dismay, he gave us a call and said he won't be able to make it. I was so excited to see him, I think I have a major crushie on him. He's super cute and athletic. Well, come to think of it, here in U.S. I can hunt for cuties... One time, I went to an outlet, and the attendant was super cute~ I kept on checking him out just to realize he had mascara on his eyelashes~?!!? OMFG~ HE'S GAAAYYYY! I just shook my head in disapointment, it's not that being gay is a bad thing, but... A lot of girls will fight over him if he was a 'guy' if you know what I'm saying. :D OKOKOKOKOK. I will update this journal thingie whenever I want to so, SCRAMMMMM~ You have nothing to read here. :P